First Quarter Score

Well, the home team's losing, but they looked better as the quarter went on, and there's hope they'll survive to the end of the game.

The state poobahs are coming in next week to do a full-school review, and they will presumably be spending time in each classroom. This has me a little concerned, but my concern is nothing compared to the hysteria this has caused with the administration. Which of course has trickled (more like "gushed," really) down to all the teachers. We have been given marching orders on at least a dozen things, all of which are "non-negotiable," and been told in no uncertain terms that we're all replacable, and that if we don't feel like meeting some of these demands, or we feel as if we don't have time, then we should find a new job where the demands won't be so heavy. Gee, I don't know if I could find another job that pays this well, in such a nuturing environment, where the physical space was so inviting and I was so well appreciated by both my bosses and my subordinates.

(It occurs to me I haven't talked about the physical space... the high school itself... with the exception of a brief mention of my portable classroom. Turns out I'm in the lap of luxury out in the boondocks. The classrooms in the main school are, frankly, abysmal. Mine smells kind of moldy, but at least it's big enough so that it doesn't feel like a prison cell with 35 people in it.)

So anyway, all of the teachers are at the breaking point -- at least 4 of them have been at meetings or received memos that left them in tears. We got a new set of ludicrous demands today, adding to an already ridiculously over-filled workload. Personally, my plan is to do what I can in the 10 or so hours per day I'm willing to devote to work, and deal with the wrath that will befall me when not enough of the "non-negotiables" are completed. For me, it's the only way to stay sane, and not be angry all the time. I expend enough energy trying to figure out how to teach without spending all of the rest of it trying to achieve the impossible. I imagine the rhetoric will be toned down some after the state leaves, although if (when, really) we get a bad report, we'll undoubtedly get a new round of "non-negotiables."

More admin hijinx

The administration of MHS has scheduled meetings every single day except Friday from 1:45 (when school ends) to 2:45. Many of my kids have asked numerous times if they could come after school to get tutoring or to make up quizzes or tests, so I've told them I'd stay every day Monday through Thursday from 2:45 to 3:45. They, of course, want me to be there at 1:45 so they won't have to kill an hour waiting for me. My initial response is essentially "tough beans, my friend. You want the help, here's when it's available." But the truth is, it's hard enough to get kids to care enough to want the extra help, I'd like to make it somewhat easier to get.

So... I found out last week that for various reasons, my Tuesday afternoon meeting was cancelled, so I could offer 1:45 to my students. This is especially helpful now, because the end of the quarter is Friday, and they have a test Wednesday or Thursday. Several kids appropriately saw this as their last chance to make up a test or quiz they'd missed.

Five kids showed up at 1:45. At 1:50, an announcement over the loud speaker asks all math teachers to report to the conference room. I ignore it. It gets announced again. I go next door to Mrs. CowCulus's room and ask her to find out what's happening and call me if I need to show up. Another announcement. I finally tell my kids I'm probably going to have to leave, and then there's an announcement specifically for me to come to the office. When I get there, the first words out of the principal's mouth are that when he calls impromptu meetings, we need to show up for them... it's all part of moving our school from a D to a B. My first thought was that when I tell my students they have to be responsible, and expect them to look to me as an example, part of that is keeping one's commitments -- like being available during the times I have previously scheduled, and have cleared my calendar to accomodate. My second thought was that I'm not likely to win any influential friends with that comment, so I keep it to myself.

Mr. Principal isn't winning any friends, influential or otherwise, in my neck of the woods.

In what world is this okay?

I got to school at 6am on Wednesday, per usual, and went to my mailbox. In it was a memo from the principal's secretary to me saying "Please schedule a meeting with Mr. Principal on Wednesday. You may bring representation to the meeting."

I freaked. First, I went to Mrs. D, one of my two closest confidantes at school (along with Mrs. CowCulus), because she's always in that early, and she's been teaching for 33 years. I was hoping she'd say something to the effect that this is the standard letter they send when you have to sign your contract, or whatever.

She freaked. In the process of saying this sounded very bad, she also managed to say a number of very nice things about me vis-a-vis my teaching. In addition, she asked if any of the other teachers had similar notes in their boxes. It hadn't dawned on me to look, so I went back up and checked. Sure enough, 4 or 5 other teachers had notes. Unfortunately, of the ones I knew, they were teachers who I've heard less than stellar reports on.

So I continued to freak. I wandered around the office for a few minutes trying to figure out what to do next, when the principal's secretary came in, went to her office and immediately shut her door. Undeterred, I knocked and entered. I asked her what this was about. She seemed very apologetic and said it was about lesson plans. She said there were 12 people on the list, and they all got the same note. (One of the assistant principals had checked people's lesson plans the previous day, and mine was hand-written and frankly not terribly thorough. Nonetheless, it was done, which is the only requirement I know of -- if they want it done well, they should probably do some training, since we've been given three different lesson plan formats since the beginning of the year and no explanation of what they want on any of them... but that's another story.)

So now I'm not freaking out anymore, but I'm starting to get irritated. I should bring representation to a meeting about substandard lesson plans? (At this point it hadn't dawned on me that they probably meant union representation rather than legal, but still... representation for lesson plan malfeasance?) After getting back to my room, I called the principal's secretary and said I wanted to schedule the meeting, to which she replied that I should just try to catch him when he's free and talk to him then. Now I'm getting really irritated. "No," I said, "he asked me to schedule a meeting and to bring representation. That's not a 'catch him in the hallway' kind of meeting. Also, when he asks me to schedule a meeting, I'm not going to hang around hoping to catch him. Schedule a meeting."

We set it for 12:30. Fifteen minutes later she calls me back to tell me that she's spoken with him and let him know that people are very upset about the note. (Apparently, one of the teachers began crying, and another turned around to leave school, feeling she would be unable to teach that day, until she learned what it was about.) The principal then told her that the people with hand-written plans shouldn't have been on the list, so I don't have to meet with him after all.

Now I'm livid. You send me a note like that and it turns out it's a MISTAKE? The only reasonable interpretation of that note is that I'm about to be fired, and it's all just a big mistake? Oops, sorry.

Turns out I'm not the only one unhappy -- this example of "bull in the china shop" leadership has been the talk of the school for the last couple of days. Despite that, I've heard no apology or explanation from the principal. As Mrs. CowCulus said, every one of the teachers was behind him 100% at the start, feeling he could turn around the school and make us all proud to be a part of it... but he's losing people fast, and has already lost a lot of them with his "fire, ready, aim" style and his insistence on a dozen different things being highest priority (a tale for another day).

On the personal front, other than expressing my displeasure to another teacher who I know speaks with him regularly about what's going on, I haven't confronted him or anyone else about the note, and don't plan to. There just doesn't seem to be any personal gain to be had in the confrontation, and I'm trying to avoid getting involved in fights against some larger injustice that might be psychically rewarding but personally costly.

Still haven't graded the quizzes, but tonight's the night.

Meanwhile, I just thought I'd provide some perspective on the student population at MHS (My High School).

Three of my students are pregnant. Not 3 of the students at MHS. Three of mine.

I teach Geometry. Which is a 10th grade class.

More fun stuff to talk about rather than grade those quizzes...

So I had about 8 kids in my class after school today for various reasons (after-class detention, test re-takers, quiz re-takers and kids seeking help). One kid asks me for the quiz I gave on October 2nd. I give it to her. She says she's never seen this stuff before, and can't possibly take the quiz. I ask her (kind of in a snotty way) why she was coming to take a quiz she was completely unprepared for. Meanwhile, another kid wants the same quiz. He looks at it and gives the same response. So, huffily, I tell them we'll use the time as review of the material they missed while absent, and they'll just have to come back and take the quiz another time. (All the while, I'm thinking about the principal in "Back to the Future" -- "Slackers! You're all slackers!")

So I explain the material to them, they seem to be picking it up, and they leave, properly chastened. I go to put the lesson plan on which I wrote the original quiz back into my notebook where I keep all my lesson plans. Which is when I notice I've given them the Algebra II quiz. These kids are in my Geometry class.

Oops.

Another story that isn't the 3rd anecdote

Picture days for the yearbook were this week, so this is also the week the seniors dress up in strange costumes all week... one day was "nerd day," on which many seniors dressed up as nerds, complete with taped eyeglasses, pocket protectors, etc. They actually did a good job -- many looked much like my high school chess team picture. One day was "twin day," with lots of seniors dressing as twins. Tuesday(I think) was career day, the day they were supposed to dress up as if they were in the career they want to get into. There were lots of doctors, guys in business suits, etc.

About 15 minutes before the end of my 3rd block class, a female senior comes in with a note for one of my students. (Many seniors have "jobs" with the guidance office or various administrators during their free period, if they have one.) I presume she wants to be a police officer. However, the outfit she was wearing was the "police officer" uniform you'd see on the stripper your buddies might get for you at your bachelor party. I swear, I was within a breath of blurting out "You want to be a stripper?!?" So now I'm wondering if (a) she actually wants to be a stripper (do they require a high school diploma for that job these days?), or (b) she's too naive to realize the uniform she was wearing wasn't REALLY a police officer uniform, or (c) she just likes the look, and really plans to be a dental hygenist, like everyone else.

Three amusing anecdotes

Except I can only remember two right now...

#1
Students today have apparently come to expect to be allowed to make up any test, quiz or bad hair day they don't do well on, in order that we never, ever leave any child behind (even if they can't really do the math). But ok, I will give the make-up exam. (I am considered an ogre among the students because I don't offer an in-class make-up exam -- I make them actually show up after school to take it.)

One of my kids shows up, begins taking the make-up exam, and after about 15 minutes blurts out "Hey, wait a minute -- this isn't the same test!" I sort of chuckled, thinking she was kidding, and noted it was identical to the original with the exception that I'd changed a coefficient or two on each problem. "But it's supposed to be a re-take!" she exclaimed. "It's supposed to be the same test."

Turns out she's angry with me for forcing her to take an actual test of mathematics rather than memory. Except that it wouldn't even be memory, because I allow a page of notes for the test, so I guess she figured that bringing in a completed test and recopying it should be worth a good grade in Geometry.

#2
For reasons that don't really matter, I let it slip that I graduated from high school in 1975. I then got the following responses: "You mean you're 35 years old?" "No... he's 42." "Yeah, I was thinking you looked about 42." "No, he's 35." I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. But I did thank the student who thought I looked 42.

#3
Damn. Still can't remember the third one. If I ever do, I'll edit this post.

OK, I still don't remember the third anecdote, but I just got off the phone with the HR department of My County's Public Schools (MCPS) Office. Here's the situation: we receive 22 paychecks a year. We're paid essentially by the hour, but the paychecks are "equalized" by subtracting some hours from the paid hours and putting them in a "hours bank" so that in pay periods we don't work very much (e.g., winter break), we still get the exact same paycheck. Therefore, I was told, we will get an identical check (within a penny or two) every pay period for 22 pay periods. At the top of the pay stub, there's a little calculation noting actual hours worked, hours banked and gross "equalized" pay. Clearly, the gross equalized pay times 22 equals my gross pay for the year. Except that it doesn't. It's $600 short. Might not seem like much to you, but it's a fair bit of money to someone on a teacher's salary.

So I call Payroll. They tell me that I'm thinking about it wrong, and that I'm not accounting for equalization. I patiently ask if I'm supposed to get 22 equal paychecks. They say yes. I patiently ask if each paycheck is supposed to be for X amount (gross), which is what my first three paychecks were. They say yes. I patiently ask then, won't my total gross pay at the end of the year add up to 22X? They say it would. I patiently ask, then why is 22X less than the salary you told me I was making? They tell me I'm not accounting for equalization. I ask to speak to a supervisor. I get voice mail.

Today, I get a call back, and I go through the whole 22X thing, which he doesn't understand the first several times (really? no one has ever had this concern? no one has ever multiplied 22 times their gross pay and realized it's less than their supposed annual gross pay? how is that possible?). He starts with telling me I am not accounting for equalization, then agrees that's not the issue, only to come back to it later. But no matter, we finally agree that, at the end of the year, I should be able to add up all of my gross pay totals for each pay period and get my total annual salary. We also agree that 22X is less than my total annual salary, but that adding up each gross pay total for 22 pay periods should equal 22X. Then he remembers that the final paycheck won't be equalized. It will be for roughly 11 days' pay, instead of 9, which is what the equalized paychecks are for. The value of roughly two days' pay? $600.

The thing I find most incredible about all this is that no one has ever asked the question before. Can no one do math, even when it matters, like how much you're getting paid?